Twitter: Best-Loved Entity Since Raymond

Eeeeverybody loves Twitter! Lately it seems all is a-twitter about Twitter. I will be having a heretofore stimulating conversation with a perfectly sound-minded individual when, without warning (or "apropos of nothing" as Bobby del Libros likes to say), he/she will break off into a cooing verbal love letter to Twitter. All amount of media, including the blogs and radio shows I follow WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT TWITTER. Apparently, one of the great draws is that celebs and other persons of note are constantly tweeting, so it's like we average Josephines are actually hanging out with professional athletes, television personalities and leaders of the free world, observing every move they make and sharing every thought that passes through their lofty craniae. Some late tweets of note: Erykah Badu tweeting during childbirth, Rainn Wilson tweeting about minutiae during coffee breaks on the set of "The Office", and of course Diddy tweeting whilst [doing something tantric]--that man will not rest until every cell of my brain is clogged with his disturbing personal info. All Twitter-lovers say the same thing: "It's just sooo cool." Not particularly illuminating, but not surprising. That's what all lovers say of their beloved. You won't catch me tweeting or following any Twitters for the same reason you won't find me on Facebook. That's because I have some loves of my own: solitude, personal space and cheese. I find no one's thoughts more fascinating than my own, there is no more appreciative audience of me than me, and I don't like to share my cheese. But hey, that's just me. Tweet on, Twitter-lovers, tweet on.


Quotable Quotes:
"I didn't shoot anybody."--back when he was Puff Daddy
"I [censored] my [censored]." --Diddy in every interview in the last three years

Speaking of Overcompensation

I was noticing that, fresh and young as this blog is, The Cootess has already mentioned Kanye West twice. So I started pondering The Divine Mr. West's relevance to library services (or "webrary 2.0" as the kids say) and blogs in general, and that's when it hit me: Kanye West is the Greatest Cootess of Them All. Years of waiting and searching and consulting the prophecies and he was right under our noses all along. Ah, such are the mysterious ways of the Cootiverse. If you look closely, you can make out ex-stripper and handmaiden to the Greatest Cootess of Them All, Amber Rose, in the passenger's seat above.

A Mere Sampling of a Big Pot o' Quotable Quotes:

“If y'all fresh to death, then I'm deceased.”

“George Bush doesn't care about black people."

"This is some Benjamin Button [nonsense]!"

P.S. Until I get back from vacay I will continue to overcompensate with huge pictures.

Week 3: I Have Totally Run Out of Juice

Ya know, every year about this time I take a week-long vacay on a nearly deserted beach, and every year about two weeks before said vacay (or "holiday" as the Brits, Madonna and hoity-toity types say) I get vacay-itis, run out of velocity and find it difficult to keep up the pretense of caring about work. People, I've got nothing. I can barely type this. In fact, I resorted to a purple font in hopes of covering up the lack of adrenaline here. Jeez, I started this post like five hours ago. I keep getting distracted by dang ole patrons and wistful thoughts of lulling surf. I'm sure when I return I will be raring to go, but for now I'm having a lot of trouble getting excited about the likes of RSS feeds. So, I added a couple of feeds to keep in compliance. Then yet another goody-goody, direction-reading library employee told me we have to have three. Crazy! I just don't feel like thinking about this right now. At the risk of incurring the considerable wrath of the Web 2.0 committee (Don't think I haven't heard the rumours of the "disappeared" blogs), I just can't be bothered. Look, I get it. RSS feeds are nifty and convenient. Nuff Said. What more do you want from me? I am totally cootified at this point. For example, I was going to add a video clip of the illustrious Carrot Top talking smack, but all I could manage was this gigantic picture and then I lost interest. This is just where I'm at right now, man.

Quotable Quote: "I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me."

Cootess: The Next Generation

The Littlest Cootess (aka Georgia Pearce Tobin--ChiChi as I call her) has come to deliver us from earnestness and place us all beneath her contempt. That's right, cootlings! The Cootess is an Auntie . . . and let me say life is a banquet and most poor S.O.B.s are starving to death, suckas!

Quotable Quotes: "I told you not to let them photograph me without my eyebrows."

"My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself

perform live." (Kanye West has tried to take credit, but ChiChi said

it first, haters.)

Week 2 Summary: Blogs, Wigs Et Al.

Some goody-goody library type who actually reads directions (The Cootess doesn't set much store by "directions" and the whole reading thing is something of a busman's holiday.) has informed me that I'm supposed to actually post a blog about blogging. Frankly, that smells like some solipsistic Web 1.4 nonsense to me but, as the kids say, alas whatever. In review, the last two days have been a rollercoaster ride of blogging emotions. I have enjoyed reading the other blogs and trying to suss out who belongs to what blog. Some stand outs: "Apropos of Nothing" is LOL funny; "Library Robot" and "WMD" have the esoteric inventive thing happening; Best photograph goes to "Patty O" and best use of doppler radar goes to "Jackie O"; I don't know who this "Jerry McK" character is but he wins best trip down memory lane with his wistful reminiscences of blogs and cheat sheets of yore. I bet whoever he is, his tie is crooked right now.

Quotable Quote: "I invested a lot of money into this wig, and it saved my life. I've got angels." (Divine Cootess Briana Bond after a costly weave deflected a shooting attempt by her ex-boyfriend in a Kansas City parking lot)

The Cheese Stands Alone

By now we are all familiar with the stories from her carny days, the motivational tales of entrepreneurial piss and vinegar, the divertessment down roads not taken to lost highways to nowhere. No one can out-cootess the divine Mz. Coco DeLaFountaine, patron saint of the Fairfield Reference Office.

Quotable Quote: "I'm not even asking who moved my cheese. If I see you so much as glancing at my cheese, I will assasinate you!

Parden Me, Is That the Queen of England?

The next Cootess in the Pantheon ... the Ambassador of Class and Elegance in the 804, The Princess of Literary Acumen, the Co-Inventor(with Kanye West) of Contemporary Culture, and the Countess of Cootesses ... females and gempmin, I present: Nikki Turner (all hail the Queen!)


Quotable Quote: "At first I was considering this fabulous brown blinged out dress, but I changed my mind and decided to put this. Yes!! Your eyes are not deceiving you: It’s a Black leather halter with a hood."